Funny Comment

While skimming what turned out to be a rather disappointing article about Secular Christmas Songs that are About Advent (none were), stumbled upon a hilarious response to a comment.



Kenneth comment game on point. ☩


VIDEO: Jim Gaffigan Discusses Catholicism with Bill Maher on HBO

Jim Gaffigan is a rare species. He’s a celebrity, liked by mainstream popular culture, and is an openly practicing Catholic. Jim is a talented comic who isn’t afraid to talk about the faith that anchors his life with his wife and five children. Despite his humor being family friendly, it doesn’t strike one as being prude or cheesy–he is a classical comic in that he can make everyone laugh.


Bill Maher recently invited Jim to be a guest on his show Real Time. Bill is unapologetically atheist and anti-religion. While his show typically deals with politics, he certainly finds time to ridicule the Church. At the same time, he often gets into the mud with less thoughtful liberal guests who blindly and unfairly attack Christianity.

I admit that I find Maher’s HBO show entertaining, intelligent (usually), fair, and humorous. Maher does a good job inviting guests of different backgrounds on his show, engaging them in provocative, yet friendly, debates.

Below is a clip of Gaffigan’s appearance where Bill mentions his Catholicism, joking that, while they’re both comics, they are almost completely different from one another; that they “cancel each other out” on earth. Jim doesn’t have too much time to make his case for Catholicism as I’m sure he would have liked, but it’s fun to see nonetheless. I also laughed out loud at him correcting Bill about “opening for the pope”, saying that actually he opened for the Pope-mobile and that it’s actually the second time he opened for a car.

For a more serious debate on Christianity on Real Time, check out the video below featuring Russ Douthat of the New York Times. If you’re not already familiar with Mr. Douthat, he is a witty, intelligent, funny, and a faithful Roman Catholic.

Follow Russ Douthat on Twitter for frequent thoughts and quips on politics, Catholicism, and popular culture: @DouthatNYT

Hilarious: Pro-“Choice” Groups Outraged by Doritos Commercial

One of the first commercials during the Super Bowl 50 broadcast was for Doritos. The low-brow humor was sure to catalyze the collective rolling of many eyes. Not everyone chuckled or rolled their eyes though; Pro-abortion groups like NARAL had a social media meltdown over it. Why? Because the commercial “humanized” a…human baby on an ultrasound. (My apologies for any brain cells lost after watching the video below)

The commercial shows two parents at a prenatal checkup. The husband is chowing down on Doritos (like any normal man would do in this situation) and the baby on the monitor moves in whatever direction the dad moves the chips. The frustrated wife takes a chip out of his hand and throws it on the floor. And that’s how babies are born.

Their above tweet is hilarious. NARAL is outraged that a human fetus is being “humanized”. It’s similarly hilarious there’s theorists who wonder if the Doritos’ marketing board intended on including a subtle pro-life message into their ridiculous advertisement. Oh, and just for good measure, they also called the advertisement sexist because why not.

Today’s ultrasound technology has proven to be a resilient foe to the pro-abortionists. When their movement started, the technology simply didn’t exist and the technological strides made in the past decade have been quite impressive. Now they even have 3D imaging of your unborn baby showing you exactly how “human” these little people are. In a world when bacteria on Mars would be hailed as “life found on another planet”, it’s comical that we’re supposed to believe what we’re witnessing on an ultrasound monitor is not life.

To quote the National Review article:

By showing a “fetus” as not a “clump of cells” but a tiny human being, Doritos exposed the weakness of the pro-abortion worldview: The commitment to denying the humanity of the unborn child is in conflict with basic common sense. Those who prefer to describe their side as “pro-choice” cannot tolerate any evidence that shows the human life that “choice” could be ending.

The Confusing ‘Modern Man’ of the New York Times

Writing for the New York Times in the Men’s Style section, Brian Lombardi created a list for men who wish to conform to a more “modern” way of life while of course, as he says, “adhering to principle”. In this self-help article, some of the 27 points are are indeed tips men could use, some of them are just ridiculous, and some of them seemingly contradict either each other or the progressive “virtues” that is so often embraced by writers in the New York Times. To their credit, none of the 27 points mentioned having a #manbun.


Just for fun, and keeping in mind that we already have a very trustworthy guide in Cardinal Newman’s Definition of a Gentleman, let’s go through some of these points and discuss them. TSP comments are in light blue.

27 Ways to be a Modern Man According to the New York Times

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

Ummm…first off, why is this the first and seemingly most important point of being a modern man? Weird. Second, couldn’t a man simply look at the sizes of his spouse’s other shoes at the house? Would he really be faulted for not knowing what brands run big or small? What man buys shoes for his spouse? Why is this on the list? Is this list even real considering this is how it starts?

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

I actually agree with this to a degree. But I think popcorn eating is less of an audible nuisance than slurping nearly-empty sodas or shaking around candy or whispering. And a man definitely shouldn’t throw Spree at the screen.

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

First, I’d argue that charred bits are good and not something to consider cutting away in the first place. It’s true that every bite of steak is a privilege, but if i have an inch-thick piece of fat from a rib eye in front of me, I’m not going to attempt to gulp it down. Perhaps this dainty modern man only eats fillets though.

5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

Really? This is the responsibility of the husband/father? First, most kids are better at remembering they need to charge their electronics than adults. Second, what a weird chore to think of. If I know my wife’s phone was almost dead and she falls asleep, surely I’ll plug it in for her, but I don’t think it’s necessary to make a point of doing it for her nightly. Perhaps we need the author’s wife to write about just exactly what a ‘Modern Woman’ is like: “A modern woman never charges her phone, for she isn’t that ‘basic’. She lets her lover deal with these trivial tasks.”

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

Dr Pepper is a cola? And I’d hardy consider Dr Pepper as somehow being more sophisticated than Mountain Dew. All sodas are crappy for you, so are we really going to meddle over particulars when it comes to sugar water? It’s not like asking your friend for a beer and being handed a Steel Reserve. And would you really show your guest the door if they dared ask for to do the Dew? Petty.

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

Maybe I’d agree if their example was “choppa”. Give me a break.

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

While I’d agree with this point,allow me to be snarky and feign outrage that a writer for the New York Times would dare suggest any intrinsic difference between the genders.

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

Some of these points really come out of nowhere. I think this is a universal point for all dish-washing people. Just like people shouldn’t leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot when they are done loading their groceries. This isn’t supposed to be “27 Ways to be a Decent Human Being”.

11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.

I’d go further and suggest that a gentleman (which apparently is different from a ‘modern man’) doesn’t use Twitter for personal reasons at all and that the gentleman (modern man?) should heavily curtail what he shares on social media in general.

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

What? Where did this come from? Who is this modern man that is too high brow to call a helicopter a “chopper” or be in the same house as a Mountain Dew but makes a point out of listening to the Wu-Tang Clan on a weekly basis–seriously.

14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.

A hand-written list often is more efficient. But when you’re shopping for an online recipe does Brian mean to tell me it makes more sense to write down what’s already on the screen? This guy needs to get over himself.

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

I would agree that there is a masculine quality to hardwood but obviously for different reasons. Apparently he wants the man of the house to be someone with moods to be avoided–while wearing slightly-above-average dress shoes.

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

Agreed. However, we should point out that a truly modern man of current society shouldn’t be assumed to have a wife…he could also have a husband to defend. Shame on the Times for spreading this homophobic assumption!

17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

WHAT? Where is this list coming from? Is this The Onion? Full disclosure: I have a melon baller.

18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

Yeah, those Kennith Coles are nice…but not THAT nice. Get some Allen Edmonds and we’ll talk.

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.

Agree completely.

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

For crying out loud. And it must be pointed out that the man that was just called to literally be a physical shield in the bedroom in case of an intruder now apparently needs his own physical shield–what is going on in this bed?

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

Ok…I guess I agree with this very random point.

22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.

23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

Wouldn’t those be the same guys that call helicopters “choppers” and do the Dew?

24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

So a being a modern man is simply incompatible with hunting? You’d think the guy that’s so worried about being attacked in his bedroom in the middle of the night would find some value in a gentleman’s responsibility to protect his family and home. What a doofus.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

This would have been fine if it were just the first sentence….but he had to add “he cries often“. It’s one thing to show tenderness and emotion on occasion but to make a point of crying often is ridiculous. And wasn’t the modern man supposed to portray confidence at all times, never letting on that anything’s wrong?

27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

I hate to have to say I can’t make fun of this–I throw down on the dance floor. #guiltypleasure #turndownforwhat

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PetSmart and a Society That Favors Pets as Children

The comforts of Western culture have no doubt encouraged the embracing of a hedonistic lifestyle among humans. Starting with the Baby Boomers (well, actually, with Europe), humans are increasingly living a life of chasing only immediate material pleasures (trust me, I love material pleasures too…but not exclusively). This is coming to a head with the current era of young adults known as Millennials. Millennials don’t want commitment because it gets in the way of being controlled by whatever passions or appetites they may have at any moment. Commitment to a spouse is too sexually constricting. Commitment to a mortgage is too geographically constricting. Commitment to a family is too…well…constricting in general. So, since humadoggybag24006_228x374-798730n beings naturally long for companionship, we find young adults between about 20 and 35 are personifying their pets in a way that mimics a relationship to the children they are forgoing. People seem to be more concerned with unadopted dogs than suffering children (and make no doubt, I have a soft spot for dogs). For instance, take a look at social media. Posts of pets frequently include captions offering adorable glimpses not into their cute pets, but their adorable “children” and “family”. Millennials, inevitably, know they are longing for a happiness that isn’t material so they are attempting to quench this immaterial thirst by drowning themselves in dog slobber. Pets require less of a financial commitment, they require less of a time commitment, and they require less of an emotional commitment. Does this sound like anyone you know?

Enter PetSmart pet stores. They recently aired a commercial that, admittedly, is somewhat humorous. But the main thing that stood out to me is the fact that it shows a typical Millennial couple discussing what they need since becoming “new parents” to some puppies. Even the narrator refers to the pets as “kids”. Is the commercial a big deal? No, not really, but it highlights the growing sentiment among young people: that real children are a burden to anyone that actually enjoys their life. PetSmart recognizes this growing demographic and are simply trying to capitalize on it (Note to self: Invest in PetSmart stock). This sentiment shouldn’t be ignored though, it is quite literally destroying the population in Europe and will soon do the same here. Unlike the destruction from the big plagues of history and natural disasters, it’s not the old and weak that this kills, it’s the young, strong and fruitful–the people that we rely on to keep the population stable.

I know, I know, it’s just a silly commercial, right?

"Family picture time!"
“Family picture time! Odie, stop staring at your brother. You are the reason we drink every night. Ugh, being a father is exhausting!”